The Opposite of Loneliness
by redskiez
Summary: Deidara realizes he's in love with Tobi.


Tobi's not talking.

Something's not right but Deidara can't tell what. He swallows the last of his dangos and pushes the plate a little away from him, he reaches for his tea and takes a tentative sip from the cup, watching Tobi over the rim.

He's distracted. Even with the mask firmly in place on his face, Deidara could tell that Tobi's not looking anywhere at him. His tea remains still in his hold and he hasn't ordered anything to eat. He didn't even complain when Deidara ordered dangos, a dish that Deidara assumes is his favorite snack.

Deidara didn't have to ask Tobi to join him for something to eat but he did. So he assumed Tobi would feel ecstatic about the whole thing, given that he's always so excited about spending time with his senpai and all. It's oddly uncomfortable to have Tobi feel like he doesn't belong and Deidara could feel the hair on the back of his head rise a little at the thought.

He misses his talking if Deidara has to be honest with himself. There's just something comforting about someone constantly commenting on things that are happening around you. It's almost like a relief and takes the edge off of things. As much as Deidara tries to deny it, it makes things feel just a little less serious and joyful with Tobi around.

Tobi makes him feel like this organization isn't all that bad.

Deidara takes another sip of his tea, licking his lips once he pulls the drink away and hears Tobi breathe out before he sees him tense, as though he is finally moving to take a sip from his own cup for the first time since they've come here, but then he stops and his head moves slightly to the side.

Strange. He's thinking about something and Deidara is curious to know what.

"Stop thinking, hm," Deidara says, trying his best to appear indifferent. He moves to take another sip of his tea, keeping his gaze locked on the drink rather than his partner. He lowers the drink once he has his fill, resting it between his hands. "I can hear you think and it's loud."

Tobi laughs at his words and Deidara barely has to pretend to be annoyed at this point. "I thought senpai said I don't think," Tobi says cheerfully, even though Deidara could pick up that he's not as chipper as he usually is. Something's amiss.

Deidara scrunches up his nose and lets out a snort. He shrugs and grabs his cup again, hand already automatically moving to bring it to his lips even though he doesn't want to take a sip.

"That's why it's loud when you do. It's annoying. Stop it."

Tobi laughs at that but he doesn't give a response. That quips Deidara's curiosity even more. Usually, Tobi would complain whenever he said something like that. Deidara narrows his eyes once more as he watches Tobi watch his drink.

Eventually, that grows boring and he moves, heaving out a breath.

"What are you thinking about, yeah?" He might as well just ask. There's no point in holding anything in, right? That's what they should do as partners, never keep anything a secret.

Tobi doesn't answer him and only tilts his head. With the mask staring blankly at him, Deidara could feel annoyance prickle at his skin but he doesn't allow himself to act on it. Maybe he's thinking about how to answer him. It better not be something stupid.

When the answer still hasn't come after a few seconds, Deidara's annoyance bleeds into something that feels dangerously like concern. He would hit himself for feeling something like this if he doesn't hate making a fool out of himself.

It feels as though they would sit here in a never-ending loop if Deidara doesn't say something else, since that annoyingly adorable head-tilt isn't going to go away anytime soon, as far as he can tell.

He picks up the courage to look up at him anyway, raising an eyebrow expectantly as he gives his partner one last chance to explain himself. When Tobi only dicks his head and hides behind his own hand, Deidara suppresses a smile and decides to just do it.

He leans his weight on his arms and pushes himself up from the chair. Deidara leans forward and reaches out, pressing a hand on Tobi's head, brushes his fingers through the surprisingly soft hair.

He resists the urge to pet it.

"You haven't been talking since we got here, hm," he says instead, swallowing down the need to just run his fingers through those short locks repeatedly. "You just keep staring at your cup, even though you haven't taken a sip."

He pauses, pressing his lips together as he thinks of what else to say, his damningly soft hair distracting his thought process. Deidara feels as though he needs to justify himself, to explain why he wants to talk in the first place.

He wants Tobi to explain himself, not that he missed listening to Tobi talking, even if it's just bullshit half of the time.

Damn, okay. Now his thoughts are running on a wild track. He pushes the thought away and narrows his eyes to think. His mask. Tobi always wears a mask and never moves to take it off, even when they are going to sleep. Maybe he's bothered by the fact that they're sitting inside of the store, in a rather busy area. He probably doesn't want to take off his mask just in case anyone would look over at their direction and see.

Deidara feels a pang of disappointment. Does he not trust him enough to show him his face by now? He's seen Sasori's true form within the second week of their partnership…

Deidara forces himself not to compare the two. They're very different people and despite Sasori's secretive ways, he's not that hard to read. In contrary, there are so many things he doesn't know about Tobi and he acts as though there's nothing to hide. But during moments like these, he knows that there's something more to this man than just the mask.

There's something deeper than this.

"It's fine if you don't want to," he says, reassuring Tobi despite his burning curiosity. There is a time for everything.

Tobi isn't responding to anything. Deidara begins to panic. He coughs and looks away, though he keeps his hand on Tobi's head. "I'm just saying you're usually really loud and talkative. It's really weird that you're suddenly so quiet, hm," he grunts, biting his lip.

"So if you've got anything on your mind, you can tell me."

His curiosity gets the better of him, in the end.

"Senpai is really beautiful," Tobi says immediately afterward.

Deidara's head snaps back immediately, staring down intensely at Tobi's eyehole. He frowns, eye twitching as the phrase slowly begins to register in his mind.

As his mind actually registers what Tobi had just said, Deidara feels a strange feeling bubble up in the pit of his stomach. He doesn't know if it's a special kind of gag reflex or a wicked sense of glee.

Either way, he feels his face heat up because of it and forces himself not to smile, lowering his gaze to the table as his hand decides to give Tobi's head a couple of pats.

"Dumbass, hm," he mutters. "This is not a date."

"Can it be?" Tobi laughs, moving his hands. "Is it your first time?"

His words take Deidara aback and his eyebrows furrow, the giddy feeling beginning to go away because of the pure idiocy of Tobi's words. "What?" Deidara stutters, digging his fingers into Tobi's head, grabbing a fist full of his hair. His hand-mouth joins in on the action, biting down on the chunk.

"Ow! Ow!" Tobi complains, his hands reaching up to slap at his own. "Senpai! I was just asking if it's the first time you've been called beautiful!"

Deidara grunts, letting go of Tobi's hair after he deems him thoroughly tugged. He sits back down, regarding Tobi with slight disdain as the giddy feelings return.

He must be very weak to have his idiotic words affect him so much. Deidara doesn't like it at all.

He's also pretty sure that Tobi wasn't referring to calling him beautiful, but he'd rather not start this conversation so he settles on something else instead.

"It's the first time I cared so much about a person that I actually got affected by his compliments, hm," Deidara mutters underneath his breath, deciding that admitting the truth is much better than picking fights right now.

He flinches when Tobi lets out a bark of a laugh and he readies himself to punch the damn idiot when he realizes that he's stood up.

Deidara watches with confused eyes as Tobi tosses a few coins on the table — where the hell did he get those coins — and recoils when Tobi reaches out to grab him by his arm.

He doesn't have much of a say when Tobi begins to drag him out of the store, saying something so fast that he can't register beyond "watch the snow together."

"What? Hey!" he protests, staggering in an attempt to catch up. "It's too cold to do that! My sandals will get wet, yeah!"

"Then you can cuddle with me," Tobi laughs again. "It can be our first time."

Deidara sputters, confused, as to what that has to do anything, but his protests fall on deaf ears.

And maybe, despite all of this, Deidara feels as though this is alright, and that it is truly the beginning of something for the first time.

* * *

Hey guys, Red here!

tumblr user lalybra said:

When they realize they're in love? Obito version vs. Deidara version!

This is for tumblr user lalybra / FFN user Lybra98.

As the prompt suggests, this is Deidara's POV of One (First Time). It's an interesting experience for sure since I had to copy the dialogue from the original fanfic. I'm not sure if this displays Deidara's feelings because I'm also sleepy writing this, but hey, I did my best considering the fact that I'm not that great at writing Deidara's POV.

If you liked (or disliked) this, please leave a comment telling me why and which parts! Thanks so much!


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